
Chances are that you've read something on the internet that made you feel enraged.
There is a fairly widespread understanding that the internet makes people disrespectful and unempathetic. However, we should consider a slightly more nuanced theory.
How we treat other people on the internet shows us how little respect and empathy we have in the first place.
The ego’s internal monologue is always coming up with fresh ways to dislike, ignore, or co-opt other people. This process is running constantly regardless of the media of interaction. “How can I make this person go away?” “How can I make them agree with me?” “How I wish they didn’t exist at all!”
We are so eager to fit other people into our story and what we want that we completely miss what they are actually showing us. Most of us have ways we attempt to hide or extinguish these thoughts as they arise during in-person interactions, but they inevitably break through anyway via subtleties in our tone and body language.
Writing an email or participating in an online discussion can be taken as a mirror and remedy for our poor regard for others. If we give ourselves a little space, then we have the long and slow opportunity to write a sentence, feel into its authenticity, and reconsider if necessary. I suggest trying this, if only once per day.
Pick one message or post and reflect directly on each and every word. Where am I trying to control the situation? Where am I trying to build myself up? Where am I likely giving into another person’s energy at the expense of my own?
Be gentle and have some fun with this. It’s incredible – even hilarious – how many little hooks there can be in one simple email!
Electronic communication offers us a special opportunity to notice and correct our self-centered speech before it goes out into the world. The “send” button is a physical extension of the energetic gateway in the throat center. Make use of it! We could choose to neither leave the gates wide open for every vapid emotion to tumble through, nor keep them barred tight to the point where our communication is all but dead.
How do we truly take this step when text communications are so impersonal and ripe for misinterpretation? I’ll be exploring this further as I share some simple tips for both reading and writing that help to avoid unnecessary offense and nasty fallout.
Next up: Suggestions for a Contemplative Internet Etiquette.