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Settling in to Crestone

I recently ended my five months of travel and began a job as the Dharma Ocean Retreat Center Manager in Crestone, CO.

This will be my private meditation room most of the year:

And the outside of my 12,000 square foot residence:

It’s a little freakishly remote, and lonely, which is part of why I’m returning to this blog after such a long hiatus. I have a couple more stories from my travels and my father’s wedding to tell before they fade. After that I will continue to update with goings-on in Crestone and whatever else arises…

Posted in Updates.


A love song to Geraldine

This goes out to the irreproachable woman who shared her car with me from Vancouver to San Francisco.

_____

Geraldine,
you pretend you don’t care

but you do

bruised giraffe heart
longs for ecstatic connection
chopped weepy words
emphasize aversion
you are like a bee running away from pollen
not knowing how sweet it is
Geraldine

Geraldine you navigate so beautifully from the passenger seat
such innovative routes from point (a) to point (b)
should be purchased by the upper classes
hung on walls
scrutinized
talked about
jostled and resold
Geraldine
my fickle beacon

oh Geraldine, that I could nourish you!
I would show you such tenderness
whisper endlessly in your ear
soften those lungs
wet those kidneys
if only I could be your Grim Reaper
your flawless guide as you fall back into the loving embrace of the depths and
arise reborn
as a new
Geraldine
how sweet.

Geraldine
with your talk-damaged tongue
you say, “not that I have anything against ______”

but you do

Play with me Geraldine!
be not a thought of right or wrong
but a person

so beautiful in ambiguity
Geraldine

Posted in Poetry.


Fate and Vancouver, BC

The license plates here read, “Beautiful British Columbia” and “The Best Place on Earth.”

48 hours since arriving, I am beginning to think they are right. This is the most beautiful and sane city I have ever encountered (at first glance anyway. Admittedly, it’s high summer and any relatively well-off city is pretty joyful place). It’s like a bizzaro America where the fast food and Starbucks are few and far between whilst an infinite variety of local ethnic food, including tons of vegetarian options, litter the commercial district.

Right in the middle of East Vancouver, across the street from where I am staying, is beautiful Trout Lake surrounded by an equally beautiful park. This is place where people of all ages, races, and backgrounds come to enjoy. The runners run, the dog-owners hang at the north end, the ducks splash in the lake, the kids swim in the south end, the young people smoke weed on the secluded boardwalks and make out on the benches. The college kids play hackysack and throw discs. The west end of the park houses a giant athletic center with an ice skating rink, outdoor basketball courts, and more. And then there’s the grass… lots of grass! There’s even a farmer’s market in the lot on Saturdays. Together with all the shops, offices, and markets you could need within walking distance, this is a weirdly utopian urban neighborhood in my mind.

The house where I am staying has four levels including the finished attic and basement and a large backyard with a cherry tree and garden.

My favorite experience of all was lying around at the clothing optional hippie beach (where it was actually warm enough to swim in the Pacific! Yay!) and having random nude men with backpacks wander by shilling cold beer and pot under their breath like they were selling molly in the lot of a Phish show. Naked.

I feel blessed to have made it here. Fate played her ever inscrutable games with me when it came to Olympia. For days before arriving there, I was looking for a host unsuccessfully, only to end up at the last minute with a graduating Evergreen student, as per my last post. The moment I arrived I was pretty beat and told him I would like to take it easy, “No, we’re going to a party tonight, he said.” The debauchery that followed was as epicly entertaining as it was completely gross.

I won’t go into all the details here but there were two nights of partying followed by a sort of recovery day with swimming in a river, all while these kids were working furiously on their final projects. Their energy and resilience was amazing, and far superior to my own.

Most of you know by now that I got horribly sick the evening after I wrote my last post. A fever arose, white and red stuff covered the back of my throat, and I was laid out. I stayed two days with an awkward, inexperienced couchsurfing couple who were sweet but it wasn’t the situation for me. I ended up with an old family friend I had never met in Dupont, WA, a pretty serious military town. She gave me the guest room and free reign in her awesome large house, almost a century old.

There I bathed repeatedly, did crazy natural remedies, and gradually nursed myself back to health over 4 or 5 days. It’s a good thing I recovered when I did because she (a registered nurse) was starting to make noises about doctors and antibiotics. I really did not want to get into how my insurance has a giant deductable and that at this point I would tend not to take a suppressive therapy unless somebody’s life or limb was on the line.

The craziness and week-long detour somehow led up to a perfecly lovely visit in Vancouver that I am cherishing every moment of. I could not have made it if not for the lovely Spanish/Mexican couple who kindly picked me up from downtown Seattle and drove me to downtown Vancouver without a second thought. I even got to play with their 1-year-old in the back seat most of the way! I had been a bit nervous about doing the border crossing as a borderline vagrant because I had read that they give hitchhikers and broke people a hard time, even detaining folks for a short bit and telling their rides to go on without the rider. I came prepared with documents explaining my travels but that turned out to be unecessary. We vaguely mentioned meeting in Seattle and them giving me a ride and I think the custom’s lady got the picture but she was too overwhelmed trying to figure out the couple’s complicated story and paperwork to give me any lip.

So as the bank account ever-approaches rock bottom and I claw my way even deeper, trying to secure a loan for my VTI retreat, I find myself increasingly euphoric and pleased with life.

It is a strange and thrilling thing to be freed of the tyranny of having money to spend. Everything changes. Soon enough I plan to even pawn my laptop in order to fund my debts for the next couple months and to lighten my load the little bit extra that’s needed for me to be fully mobile with all my gear. At that point I will be free to hitch, dumpster, and stealth camp to my heart’s delight without horrible back aches and worrying about anything terribly important being stolen.

Things are looking up, and ever stranger.

Much love to you all.

Posted in Narratives, Updates.


What I have been doing – for all those who ask and maybe some others.

The last couple weeks have been bursting with activity. I do not yet know what kind of story this journey is telling or what commentary would be appropriate. So for now, here is a simple list of what I have enjoyed recently: Continued…

Posted in Narratives, Updates.


For those of you wondering…

I have been having a nice, mostly introverted time exploring the Bay Area this past week. Today I am starting a multi-day BART/Bus/Rideshare up to Eugene, camping along the way with a stranger from Craigslist.

There I will be staying at wild-sounding co-op and making preparations to go backpacking for five days. I have a whole series of articles on gift economy and relocalization itching to go up. Look for the first one middle of next week before I take off to the woods.

Missing you all!

Posted in Updates.


What Poker Math Can Teach Us about Preparing for Future Crises

In these uncertain times it is common to feel some degree of confusion, anxiety, anger, or ambivalence toward the future. What actually comes next is anybody’s guess. Yet, the facts – about the credit markets, about peak oil, and about the environment – provide some helpful guidelines to making the tough decisions about how we manage our assets and where to put our precious time and energy.

How each of us interprets these facts is a personal journey. We could have all manner of beliefs about what the future will look like. The system presented here is meant to provide some guidance for how to prioritize action based on whatever our beliefs may be.

This idea was inspired by the work of Chris Martenson, a research scientist and businessman who offers a calm and well researched free presentation called Crash Course. According to Chris, he thinks it is “the clearest and most straightforward explanation of how our economy, energy systems and environment interact — how we got to where we are today, and some reasonable expectations for the future.”

If you have not yet watched Crash Course, I recommend you look into it as soon as possible. It can be viewed online or legally downloaded as a DVD via Bit Torrent. Knowing the information presented therein will make the ideas here much more relevant to your life. When you are done, be sure to check out Chapter 20: So What Should I Do?

Regardless of whether you take the time to watch Crash Course, this pragmatic system of decision making will help you weigh the benefit and risk of pursuing or not pursuing various options in your life. You will see that winning at cards requires precise action based on what one knows to be true about a situation. In all matters, cards included, our evaluations are based on a certain degree of opinion and speculation unique to each of us. But when it comes time to move from evaluation to action, the system poker players use can benefit almost anyone.

Continued…

Posted in Articles.


Puffington Station

Some words from my train ride. This picture, showing the back of the old building just as I saw it, was the only good one I could find. A camera would be nice.

puffington-station

The old Puffington Station in Grand Junction, Colorado, declares “For Sale,” with a bright pink banner over its imposing square doorframe. It is a humble but pretty building several decades old made of light brick and classic western red clay shingles. It announces the same classically American regal yet rustic presence common among municipal buildings in Colorado. Even, or perhaps because of, the peeling paint and boarded up windows, the building displays a kind of quiet dignity unusual among its peers.

The new station next door is of seventies construction with cheap wood siding failing to catch the eye everywhere but the decorative foyer made of bricks that almost, but do not quite, mirror those of the old station. The effect is farcical.

I am stuck here comparing the two because of a delay in my thirty-six hour train ride from Denver to San Francisco. The sun is setting on the first day of my great adventure of self discovery and I am held captive by the jankiest form of tired americana.

The little corner of the town dominated by the train station is clearly the sort of place people only go when they need to: A pawn shop, a knife sharpener, a locksmith, and something called “Carson Memorials.” Off in the distance I can see some colorful western shop faces and a thriving commercial area but the train staff insists that our delay could end at any moment while at the same time professing certainty that it will be at least two hours. We must not leave earshot of the platform or they will just leave us behind.

I call around to various friends and family to fill the time as I try not to worry about the implications of arriving in San Francisco late at night with only an address for the man hosting me.

Epilogue
After a sublimly uneventful two hours the train took of exactly as expected. We made up the lost time and then some as we rolled through the desert in the middle of the night and all turned out well for my arrival. I was happy to keep moving but it felt sad to leave the stately old pioneer building behind…

Posted in Narratives.


Contemplative Computing Blog

Hey everyone!

Thanks for checking in on my new blog.

Here I will be documenting my journies and postings some articles that have been spinning around in my head for the past couple years. There may some other random tidbits like poetry or stories as well. Look for updates on Facebook or the RSS feed and please do comment!

I am exciting about using this format both to keep in commnication with all of you who I don’t talk to regularly and to continue to practice the inspiration and creativiy that too often subside, unfulfilled, in my life.

The format and styling of this site are going to be experiencing a creative process for some time – but don’t be scared if you come back and things look different. The content will all be here!

Posted in Updates.